About Sitting Meditation: what is waking up

If we say sitting meditation is to wake up. Then what is waking up? When do you feel you are not awake?

Below is just my take on this:

I feel not awake when I forgot my past experience. For example, friends are very important to me. I spend my whole life making friends. But sometimes I forget my experiences of friendship. We often forgot our past important experience. When we realize that, we ask ourselves why we got lost again. Another example is that I told myself that I will never be afraid of taking any pain. But sometimes I forget that.

I feel lost when I realize I forget the basic truth that I am going to die. I am not intimate with the fact that I am going to die. When I am intimate with that fact, I feel awake, and I can take on any hardship, and do what I feel is really important for me no matter how difficult it is.

I feel lost when I am not at the present moment. I feel awake when I am fully aware the full dimensions of the current space. Abstract things, no matter how good or how right they are, are still abstract. The details at the current moment is what matters, and is really fun. We are often afraid of death, afraid that we cannot listen and see anymore. But when we are alive, are we listening? Are we seeing? True seeing is to see with your whole body.

I feel lost when I feel that I forget the big things and get trapped in many small things.

To be the present moment is to play. Being intimate with past experience is to remember the experience of friendship and love. Being intimate with the death is to work hard, enjoy every moment of life, and be intimate with life. Be at the present moment, and enjoy the details of the thing you are doing. When you really play, you are awake. When you play, you have to be totally awake.

When you play, you find the same peace you have in sitting meditation. Totally awake.

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